How One Dad Got His Balls Caught In Ikea Furniture

From your marriage to your toddler to your dinner, Ikea has been messing with you for a while. But judging from an August 31 Facebook post from a fellow dad, the furniture retailer could be coming for your balls, and that’s really not cool. Claus Jørstad learned this the hard way when he purchased the Ikea Marius chair for sitting in the shower, in order to accommodate a knee injury. Then he got caught with his pants down in the cleanest context possible, and took to social media to give new meaning to the phrase “Swedish Meatball.”

“Sitting there and noticing the accident, I bent down to see what the f–k happened, I realized the little nutter has got stuck,” Jørstad told The Daily Mail, which originally reported the incident. The British tabloid also roughly translated his initial post, where the married father of 3 uses nautical metaphors to describe his “skipper” and “sailors” — so, that makes Ikea pirates? Nonetheless, the company stuck with the theme when they responded, telling him to remove the stool from the shower or “make sure you are well dressed for your next sea excursion.” But one of the few things you can do safely with Ikea furniture is sit naked on it (just ask your kid), so what the hell happened?

Essentially, the hot water from the shower increased his body temperature, causing said sailor to expand and get stuck in maritime jail. Luckily he was freed when the water went cold on it’s own, or as Jørstad described, colder than his mother in-law on his wedding day. Hey, if you were similarly saved by shrinkage, you’d probably have a sense of humor about it too.

[H/T] The Daily Dot

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This article was originally published on Sep. 8, 2016

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